Being a perfectionist has many pros & it also comes with some challenges.

At the surface level of me being a perfectionist you can rely on me to get things done in a timely manner & the task at hand will be done to perfection. I have always been a high achiever.

Behind the scenes, I genuinely find pleasure in making things “perfect”

What exactly does that mean??

It implies that it isn’t currently perfect & that I need to do something to make it perfect.

When I was in school, I pulled many all-nighters to complete projects to my high standards.

At work, I’m always at the top, producing the most, winning awards etc

In life, I have always pushed myself to achieve things & experience things that the average person only dreams of. I make it a reality.

In romantic relationships I hold the bar high, the same bar that I hold for myself.

I remember when I was a teenager & even into my younger adult days I wouldn’t be caught dead in sweat pants, runners or even jeans. I was always dressed up, wearing heels & always looking my best.

It was not until a few years ago when life took an unexpected turn & my ability to function at 100% was taken away from me. A car accident, a life altering event. It not only slowed me down physically, but also emotionally.

Post accident, I felt like I didn’t have the strength or the energy to align all of the things in my cupboards, have it colour coordinated with labels facing forward & in perfect lines (as if my home was a grocery store).

My neck & back was too sore for me to spend the time doing my hair each day. I didn’t have the energy to iron my clothes, it felt like I was barely putting myself together.

I had to stop working at my job as a teacher (which I absolutely loved), My sense of purpose was a blur.

“You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.” ~ Unknown

I spent many days/months/years mourning the loss of my exciting life & I’m learning to embrace a new way of life.

Lots of focus on physical therapy & mental health.

Luckily mental health, mindfulness & consciousness have always been an area of interest for me. This was my opportunity to take everything I’ve learned & put it into practice.

In moving forward, the best that I know how to, I do my best to take every day as it comes.

I am really living out the teachings of living in the now.

Today, I have a different perception of perfection. My 100% looks a lot different than it once did.

It was bringing me anxiety & sorrow thinking about the way that my health USED to be, the capability that my body USED to have, the constant happy mood I USED to be in (without any effort it seemed). So I decided to change my old script, which wrote EVERYTHING NEEDS TO LOOK PERFECT IN ORDER TO BE PERFECT.

I asked myself….

1) Is this idea of “perfection” that I currently hold serving me & bringing me joy?

2) Is my current idea of “perfection” the only way to perceive “perfection”?

I asked the questions to my higher self (thru meditation) & the response I got resonated with me, with such clarity.

Everything is exactly how it should be in this moment, I do NOT always know in my conscious mind what is best for me.

I must surrender & trust that if I’m in a blissful & joyous state, I am following my inner guide. It NEVER steers me in the “wrong” direction. It will likely steer me in a direction that I never would have thought to travel on my own.

With work, perfection is learning to let go & delegate the tasks that don’t excite me. I focus on enjoying the journey & not only focus on the outcome. Doing more of what I love puts me in a more productive state, which is much better for business ultimately.

In school, perfection is being curious & open, learning new things because they are of interest to me.

In life, perfection is knowing that things are happening FOR me not TO me. The universe has a master plan, my job is to relax & enjoy the ride. Be awake & mindful on this journey.

In romantic partnership, perfection is knowing that both people are whole & complete. I do not need them & they do not need me. I am choosing them on this journey, to live life side by side knowing that our souls were brought together to bring us each to a higher level of consciousness. My partner is my perfect mirror & brings me many opportunities to be curious about my areas of growth.

I was once associating perfection with my self worth. I can give myself a break by knowing that I am good enough exactly as I am in this moment. I am perfect. My spirit is abundant, whole & complete.

Nothing that I do or say can change my worth, it is intrinsic.


Nadika Viswakula

As I sit to write this piece on learning to embrace my feminine energy, my ego screams at me telling me, that I am weak & powerless.

The voice of my ego is frantic & in a panic, trying to convince me not to share this story from a position of empowerment.

As I meditate & align my energy to a more peaceful place, reaching down to the true essence of my being, I listen to that sweet voice & KNOW that I am home.

I am safe & eternally powerful in my feminine energy.

It is a new feeling, being powerful & sure in my outer beauty, just the same as my inner beauty.

I had housed my soul in this body for over 34 years & NEVER truly understood or embraced what purpose this vehicle is serving.
I just recently learned that spirits choose the bodies that they are born into. I chose this body.

I used to feel uncomfortable & uneasy with any compliment that was paid to me. I could feel that discomfort in every fibre of my body, not accepting the words that are being said…in fact, resisting the kind words being said.

It wasn’t until a few weeks ago, when a stranger (another woman) pointed out to me that she could see my body physically reacting to a compliment or praise.
She told me that she observed me curling up into a ball (making myself smaller), breaking eye-contact & looking embarrassed. She was right!

Why would I not be open to receiving kindness/love?

In my mind I can understand why someone would say those nice things about me, but at my core I wasn’t believing it.
I know that I am a good person & that I have always been extremely compassionate towards others, but why did I not feel that I was deserving of kindness towards me?

I have shared my story before & one of the most defining moments in my childhood was being bullied at my elementary school, for the colour of my skin. My skin colour was not something I could change & as a little girl, I made that mean that “I’m not good enough” & that “I’m weak & powerless”.  That script has been etched in me. 

Today thru my spiritual practice, I know that that is absolutely untrue…I am a whole & complete being & I always have been.
What that means is, no matter what is happening in the physical form, the truth of who I am, the essence of my being is perfect & nothing needs to change.

“Love created me like itself”~ACIM


Today I spend more time knowing who I am in truth. That doesn’t mean I don’t have moments when I forget… there are brief moments when my ego wants to try & convince me of my old story of not being good enough & weak & powerless.  I know to embrace those moments & observe them for the purpose of healing.

Growing up, I modelled, was in beauty pageants, spent many years working in both the fashion industry & nightclub industry. All of these industries are very much focused on physical appearance, yet I was completely disconnected from this body.

I got by my teens, twenties & first few years of my 30s, very much in my masculine energy. I appeared as a “strong” woman. But what I really was, was a scared little girl, feeling like she needed to protect herself from this scary world (filled with bullies). Believe me, living from this position, had me attract many “bullies” into my adult life.

Being bullied was a familiar feeling & sometimes familiarity feels safe. That is an optical illusion,there is no part of playing victim that feels good.

Embracing my true feminine energy has allowed me to live a life of ease. I no longer feel afraid in anything that I do, I trust that I am always guided. I am strong & soft at the same time. I don’t need to prove anything to anybody. I just choose to be in love, with myself & the world. My gift to this world is my kind, gentle & nurturing nature. Being aligned with who I am in truth is my power position!

Owning this perfection, at each point in my journey, allows me to be of service to others. When I know who I am, I can nurture & guide those around me to tap into their inner strength.

Each of us are exactly where we are meant to be on this journey. I am always guided by a higher source. My only duty is to surrender & trust the universe & BE the love & light that I am.

Today, for the first time I can look into the mirror, into my eyes & affirm out loud that I am beautiful inside & out. Really owning it. Embracing my sensuality.

How can I expect anyone else to treat me well & honour me, when I am not doing it for myself. It is my duty to love & honour me!

Cheers to loving me & embracing my soft, yet powerful feminine energy!  I encourage you all to pay compliments to others & be open to receiving them yourself. It is a form of giving & receiving love…..a beautiful small act that we can model to the generations after us.