Being a perfectionist has many pros & it also comes with some challenges.
At the surface level of me being a perfectionist you can rely on me to get things done in a timely manner & the task at hand will be done to perfection. I have always been a high achiever.
Behind the scenes, I genuinely find pleasure in making things “perfect”
What exactly does that mean??
It implies that it isn’t currently perfect & that I need to do something to make it perfect.
When I was in school, I pulled many all-nighters to complete projects to my high standards.
At work, I’m always at the top, producing the most, winning awards etc
In life, I have always pushed myself to achieve things & experience things that the average person only dreams of. I make it a reality.
In romantic relationships I hold the bar high, the same bar that I hold for myself.
I remember when I was a teenager & even into my younger adult days I wouldn’t be caught dead in sweat pants, runners or even jeans. I was always dressed up, wearing heels & always looking my best.
It was not until a few years ago when life took an unexpected turn & my ability to function at 100% was taken away from me. A car accident, a life altering event. It not only slowed me down physically, but also emotionally.
Post accident, I felt like I didn’t have the strength or the energy to align all of the things in my cupboards, have it colour coordinated with labels facing forward & in perfect lines (as if my home was a grocery store).
My neck & back was too sore for me to spend the time doing my hair each day. I didn’t have the energy to iron my clothes, it felt like I was barely putting myself together.
I had to stop working at my job as a teacher (which I absolutely loved), My sense of purpose was a blur.
“You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.” ~ Unknown
I spent many days/months/years mourning the loss of my exciting life & I’m learning to embrace a new way of life.
Lots of focus on physical therapy & mental health.
Luckily mental health, mindfulness & consciousness have always been an area of interest for me. This was my opportunity to take everything I’ve learned & put it into practice.
In moving forward, the best that I know how to, I do my best to take every day as it comes.
I am really living out the teachings of living in the now.
Today, I have a different perception of perfection. My 100% looks a lot different than it once did.
It was bringing me anxiety & sorrow thinking about the way that my health USED to be, the capability that my body USED to have, the constant happy mood I USED to be in (without any effort it seemed). So I decided to change my old script, which wrote EVERYTHING NEEDS TO LOOK PERFECT IN ORDER TO BE PERFECT.
I asked myself….
1) Is this idea of “perfection” that I currently hold serving me & bringing me joy?
2) Is my current idea of “perfection” the only way to perceive “perfection”?
I asked the questions to my higher self (thru meditation) & the response I got resonated with me, with such clarity.
Everything is exactly how it should be in this moment, I do NOT always know in my conscious mind what is best for me.
I must surrender & trust that if I’m in a blissful & joyous state, I am following my inner guide. It NEVER steers me in the “wrong” direction. It will likely steer me in a direction that I never would have thought to travel on my own.
With work, perfection is learning to let go & delegate the tasks that don’t excite me. I focus on enjoying the journey & not only focus on the outcome. Doing more of what I love puts me in a more productive state, which is much better for business ultimately.
In school, perfection is being curious & open, learning new things because they are of interest to me.
In life, perfection is knowing that things are happening FOR me not TO me. The universe has a master plan, my job is to relax & enjoy the ride. Be awake & mindful on this journey.
In romantic partnership, perfection is knowing that both people are whole & complete. I do not need them & they do not need me. I am choosing them on this journey, to live life side by side knowing that our souls were brought together to bring us each to a higher level of consciousness. My partner is my perfect mirror & brings me many opportunities to be curious about my areas of growth.
I was once associating perfection with my self worth. I can give myself a break by knowing that I am good enough exactly as I am in this moment. I am perfect. My spirit is abundant, whole & complete.
Nothing that I do or say can change my worth, it is intrinsic.