My name is Nadika,  I was born in Italy to Sri Lankan born parents. I don’t have much memory of my first two years of life in Italy, but I have been told by many that I was a very easy-going baby, always smiling, happy and extremely social with everyone.

Most of my memories are from my time living in Vancouver, we came here when I was two. Both of my parents, together, chose to leave Italy and migrate to Vancouver, Canada to educate me in English. My mom is a pre-school teacher and I attended the same school that she taught at from the age of 2.5years old until bout 8 years of age. It is a private school, smaller in size, in comparison to public schools. I vividly remember my experiences there as being very loving, united, and safe. The school only taught up to grade 3 at the time and I was then placed into the public school system in an area that was very far away from where my family lived. The school was in a very affluent part of the city and if it wasn’t for my moms work address being close to that school district, they would have denied me entry. It was a rule that you had to live in the area to attend that school.

My experiences at this school are some of the most traumatic and memorable of my life, to date. It was the first time that I remember feeling alone, scared and different. I was bullied by the children at my school for the color of my skin, and the way that I dressed. I had no idea that I had to look a certain way to fit in. I remember wanting soooo badly for my name to be Sara, along with the other 6 Saras in my class. I have vivid memories of wanting to be different than I was. I was embarrassed to be me, and I wanted different skin, hair and even wanted a different family.

My parents and I were “immigrants” and “they” just did not know how to fit in. I have memories of waiting after school for hours, all by myself, sometimes in the cold, for my mom to come and pick me up from school. Of course, it had to be after she finished work. School got out at 3pm and she finished work at 4:30pm. It was the longest 1.5 hours of my life, every day, 5 days a week. Some days it would be close to 5pm before I got picked up. I would hear stories of what other children were up to, taking classes, playing, having play dates, sleepovers etc. I was never a part of any of it. To me, that was just a fantasy life, a dream. I played on the monkey bars outside and mastered them on my own, and when it was cold I would curl up under the staircase and just hang out. I remember wishing so desperately for a different life.  On the weekends my social life consisted of hanging out with my parent’s friends and sometimes their friend’s kids if they had any.

My parents would always share their stories of their struggle and how they had very little money and had to sell their belongings and work very hard to get to where they were in their life. Every day was a grind and the stresses of money were no secret in our household. I could see my parent’s exhaustion, frustration, and desperation to provide for me and give me “everything”.   It just never seemed enough and I sensed a feeling of drowning while keeping up the facade of making ends meet. My dad spent countless dollars, time and energy in a business that just didn’t make it. I heard a dialogue of frustration, taking buses and commuting over 3 hours in a day back and forth, to and from work, in the dark. Hitching rides with co-workers, packing lunches, getting home in the dark, cooking dinner, helping with homework, waking up early, and only to do it all again the next day. It was busy, and at times, a chaotic household. In the evenings while we ate dinner, it was a habit for all of us to sit in front of the tv to unwind. I think this was more of an opportunity for my parents to unwind.

I have fond memories of us snuggled on the couch….that was our family time. Another fond memory was being a 6- year- old cashier at my dad’s convenient store, in the evenings. Everyone seemed amazed at my ability to work the register, count cash and bag their groceries at such a young age. I felt the connection to each customer and sometimes I would even get a couple of pennies as a tip. It was a feeling of connection, a feeling of acknowledgment and one of validation. Everyone left with a big smile, and I helped to put it there.

I still don’t think my parents have any idea of the challenges I experienced, being in the public school system, and being faced with bullies. I found it very foreign that most all of the children that attended my elementary school was so focused on the designer labels on their clothing and coordinating outfits with each other, for school the next day. Of course, I was not invited to be a part of any of this. My parents couldn’t afford designer clothing. I wore hand-me-downs and I remember specifically being told that I had to wear the same outfit two days in a row before it went into the wash because we couldn’t afford to do laundry that often. My parents just didn’t seem to understand what I needed in order to fit in. When I got to high-school, I insisted on going to a school closer to my home. I put up a fight, and my parents finally agreed. I remember walking into that school not knowing anybody….not even 1 person. No one to sit beside for comfort, I didn’t even know a single childs name in my neighbourhood. I was not home enough to get to know my neighbours.

This was my fresh start, my blank slate. I wouldn’t call myself the most popular kid in high-school, but my experiences seemed to be a lot more bearable, and eventually I started to grow into my own skin. I think it was in high-school when I realized for myself that I can choose my own experiences. I wanted so badly to just be given an opportunity, a moment to shine, express myself and just be me. I wanted to express kindness and connect because I knew how much it hurt to feel the opposite. It has been a long and grueling journey of healing the pain of feeling victimized over and over again. I let that old story define me for many years. I found myself feeling the same emotion over and over again with several people that were around me, including my first romantic love and my second romantic love, both of them “taking advantage of me” emotionally, and financially…..a constant feeling of being victimized and taken advantage of. Both relationships were exactly the same, no difference…..I was the common denominator. I own my part in this journey and attracting these experiences.

I attracted life partners who bullied me and kept me in that familiar place. I have the skill set now, to no longer play a victim to my circumstances. Those are old stories that created limiting beliefs as a child and they no longer serve me. This is merely my journey and every part of it has gotten me to where I am today. Today I embrace uniquenesses in myself and others…..it is my gift.

I was put here on earth, during my human experience to encourage others to embrace their uniquenesses, talents, passions and to live them daily, while they are alive, living this human experience. I can see the light in others because I choose to see the light in me. In order to teach this, I commit to living and modelling it myself. I commit to living my life openly, presently, and abundantly!

Today as I write this I KNOW with conviction that I am strong, powerful, whole and complete. Nothing was ever wrong with me, and nothing ever will be wrong with me. In the past, I have over-compensated my kindness by giving to others before I gave to myself and that left me feeling empty. This is something I grew up hearing my mother say “We gave up everything to give you this life”, “everything I do is for you guys”, I watched her model this belief, over and over again. I now know that it is healthier for me to give love to myself first and extend the overflow outwards.

Today I can proudly know that I am whole, I am healthy and I am abundantly wealthy.  I can say with absolute certainty that I am made of abundant love. I love my name and can say it with pride. I love my skin color, and I am perfect just the way that I am, and nothing needs to change….ever.

Today I know that I have a choice; a choice to remember that I am here on this earth on purpose, for a purpose.

I wish to empower parents to take the time to educate themselves on the impact that their words and their actions have on their children’s development. Parents, your time and your undivided attention are more powerful than anything you could ever buy for your child.

We are living in a time where it is imperative to create an entrepreneurial mindset in ourselves and our children. It is no longer feasible to trade in our time for money, the world is rapidly changing and developing in a format that I need to be able to think outside of the box to make it. It is the time to embrace my uniquenesses and share them with the world. There is no one in this world that shares my exact story and my exact experiences. These are unique to me, therefore, what I have to offer is unique.

I know with all of my heart that my parents had the best intentions at heart and they did the best that they knew how at the time. I had created beliefs around financial lack, growing up hearing the dialogue around it. I also observed the attitude of arrogance, competitiveness, and disconnect with people that I perceived as financially wealthy. It has taken some work to unlearn old beliefs and find the balance of being kind, being humble and being financially abundant.  I now have a genuine belief in abundance and know that there is enough in this world for all of us to live our dream life.

In my dream life, I see unity and working together, having fun and just BEING…..being open, being expressive, being love.

I now have a blog, encouraging parents to take things back to the basics, clearing old limiting beliefs and replacing them with beliefs of abundance.  You will be modeling this for your children.

My “why” is to leave a legacy of empowerment with each and every person that comes into my life. I wish for people to see their own potential and to push past their barriers and live a life of abundance! This legacy can live far longer than my existence….that is my wish, that we all keep paying it forward.

I hold you in the light!

My best possible life is me waking up smiling, knowing that whatever comes to me today is called by my higher self (my spirit being).

I will choose to be in a constant state of bliss, love & joy.

Embracing the challenging times & appreciating them for creating an opportunity to experience contrast in life. The blissful times & the challenging times can be enjoyable when I know that the challenges are there for a purpose. It’s simply a hurdle for me to overcome to get me to step deeper into my higher self, my spirit being.

I am knowing that I am safe & taken care of by a power grander than I can comprehend in my mind.

That power is what guides me & gives me the knowledge to make decisions on my human journey.

I am a spirit being, on a human journey. I am embracing that my purpose here in this world is to have fun, be curious,  explore & to love abundantly.

I do not need to do or be anything or anybody to experience love. I AM LOVE.  When I am living aligned with who I am in truth, then I get to experience more of who I am….LOVE

I must believe it to see it.

I must believe the truth of who I am.  I am whole & complete, abundant love, in order to experience it in this world.

I am calling the shots.

Every experience is mine. I called for it, sometimes subconsciously.

I know that my title in this world does not matter. Nor my status. It is only how I feel that matters.

When I am feeling in a state of love, that is what I will have to offer to the world.

What a different world this would be if we all just owned our truth & acknowledged that no matter what is happening around me, it means nothing about me.

I do believe that me alone, just 1 person, has the power to make such grand shifts.

My focus is not to change the world but to shift the way that I see the world. The world is beautiful & abundant. I am always connected to all things within it. 

I can trust that the universe is taking care of things. There is no reason to create stress or anxiety. That is my egos way of dis-aligning me from my connection to the universe.

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I am abundant.

I am whole & complete.

I am pure, innocent perfection.

I am eternally connected to the universe.

The entire universe is within me. I am a part of the oneness, powerful beyond measure. I am love <3

This state of alignment enhances every one of my experiences, in a romantic partnership, in business, with my family, my children, my co-workers, my neighbours & everyone else that  I encounter throughout my journey.

~ Naked Love Coach

Being a perfectionist has many pros & it also comes with some challenges.

At the surface level of me being a perfectionist you can rely on me to get things done in a timely manner & the task at hand will be done to perfection. I have always been a high achiever.

Behind the scenes, I genuinely find pleasure in making things “perfect”

What exactly does that mean??

It implies that it isn’t currently perfect & that I need to do something to make it perfect.

When I was in school, I pulled many all-nighters to complete projects to my high standards.

At work, I’m always at the top, producing the most, winning awards etc

In life, I have always pushed myself to achieve things & experience things that the average person only dreams of. I make it a reality.

In romantic relationships I hold the bar high, the same bar that I hold for myself.

I remember when I was a teenager & even into my younger adult days I wouldn’t be caught dead in sweat pants, runners or even jeans. I was always dressed up, wearing heels & always looking my best.

It was not until a few years ago when life took an unexpected turn & my ability to function at 100% was taken away from me. A car accident, a life altering event. It not only slowed me down physically, but also emotionally.

Post accident, I felt like I didn’t have the strength or the energy to align all of the things in my cupboards, have it colour coordinated with labels facing forward & in perfect lines (as if my home was a grocery store).

My neck & back was too sore for me to spend the time doing my hair each day. I didn’t have the energy to iron my clothes, it felt like I was barely putting myself together.

I had to stop working at my job as a teacher (which I absolutely loved), My sense of purpose was a blur.

“You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.” ~ Unknown

I spent many days/months/years mourning the loss of my exciting life & I’m learning to embrace a new way of life.

Lots of focus on physical therapy & mental health.

Luckily mental health, mindfulness & consciousness have always been an area of interest for me. This was my opportunity to take everything I’ve learned & put it into practice.

In moving forward, the best that I know how to, I do my best to take every day as it comes.

I am really living out the teachings of living in the now.

Today, I have a different perception of perfection. My 100% looks a lot different than it once did.

It was bringing me anxiety & sorrow thinking about the way that my health USED to be, the capability that my body USED to have, the constant happy mood I USED to be in (without any effort it seemed). So I decided to change my old script, which wrote EVERYTHING NEEDS TO LOOK PERFECT IN ORDER TO BE PERFECT.

I asked myself….

1) Is this idea of “perfection” that I currently hold serving me & bringing me joy?

2) Is my current idea of “perfection” the only way to perceive “perfection”?

I asked the questions to my higher self (thru meditation) & the response I got resonated with me, with such clarity.

Everything is exactly how it should be in this moment, I do NOT always know in my conscious mind what is best for me.

I must surrender & trust that if I’m in a blissful & joyous state, I am following my inner guide. It NEVER steers me in the “wrong” direction. It will likely steer me in a direction that I never would have thought to travel on my own.

With work, perfection is learning to let go & delegate the tasks that don’t excite me. I focus on enjoying the journey & not only focus on the outcome. Doing more of what I love puts me in a more productive state, which is much better for business ultimately.

In school, perfection is being curious & open, learning new things because they are of interest to me.

In life, perfection is knowing that things are happening FOR me not TO me. The universe has a master plan, my job is to relax & enjoy the ride. Be awake & mindful on this journey.

In romantic partnership, perfection is knowing that both people are whole & complete. I do not need them & they do not need me. I am choosing them on this journey, to live life side by side knowing that our souls were brought together to bring us each to a higher level of consciousness. My partner is my perfect mirror & brings me many opportunities to be curious about my areas of growth.

I was once associating perfection with my self worth. I can give myself a break by knowing that I am good enough exactly as I am in this moment. I am perfect. My spirit is abundant, whole & complete.

Nothing that I do or say can change my worth, it is intrinsic.

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Nadika Viswakula

As I sit to write this piece on learning to embrace my feminine energy, my ego screams at me telling me, that I am weak & powerless.

The voice of my ego is frantic & in a panic, trying to convince me not to share this story from a position of empowerment.

As I meditate & align my energy to a more peaceful place, reaching down to the true essence of my being, I listen to that sweet voice & KNOW that I am home.

I am safe & eternally powerful in my feminine energy.

It is a new feeling, being powerful & sure in my outer beauty, just the same as my inner beauty.

I had housed my soul in this body for over 34 years & NEVER truly understood or embraced what purpose this vehicle is serving.
I just recently learned that spirits choose the bodies that they are born into. I chose this body.

I used to feel uncomfortable & uneasy with any compliment that was paid to me. I could feel that discomfort in every fibre of my body, not accepting the words that are being said…in fact, resisting the kind words being said.

It wasn’t until a few weeks ago, when a stranger (another woman) pointed out to me that she could see my body physically reacting to a compliment or praise.
She told me that she observed me curling up into a ball (making myself smaller), breaking eye-contact & looking embarrassed. She was right!

Why would I not be open to receiving kindness/love?

In my mind I can understand why someone would say those nice things about me, but at my core I wasn’t believing it.
I know that I am a good person & that I have always been extremely compassionate towards others, but why did I not feel that I was deserving of kindness towards me?

I have shared my story before & one of the most defining moments in my childhood was being bullied at my elementary school, for the colour of my skin. My skin colour was not something I could change & as a little girl, I made that mean that “I’m not good enough” & that “I’m weak & powerless”.  That script has been etched in me. 

Today thru my spiritual practice, I know that that is absolutely untrue…I am a whole & complete being & I always have been.
What that means is, no matter what is happening in the physical form, the truth of who I am, the essence of my being is perfect & nothing needs to change.

“Love created me like itself”~ACIM

 

Today I spend more time knowing who I am in truth. That doesn’t mean I don’t have moments when I forget… there are brief moments when my ego wants to try & convince me of my old story of not being good enough & weak & powerless.  I know to embrace those moments & observe them for the purpose of healing.

Growing up, I modelled, was in beauty pageants, spent many years working in both the fashion industry & nightclub industry. All of these industries are very much focused on physical appearance, yet I was completely disconnected from this body.

I got by my teens, twenties & first few years of my 30s, very much in my masculine energy. I appeared as a “strong” woman. But what I really was, was a scared little girl, feeling like she needed to protect herself from this scary world (filled with bullies). Believe me, living from this position, had me attract many “bullies” into my adult life.

Being bullied was a familiar feeling & sometimes familiarity feels safe. That is an optical illusion,there is no part of playing victim that feels good.

Embracing my true feminine energy has allowed me to live a life of ease. I no longer feel afraid in anything that I do, I trust that I am always guided. I am strong & soft at the same time. I don’t need to prove anything to anybody. I just choose to be in love, with myself & the world. My gift to this world is my kind, gentle & nurturing nature. Being aligned with who I am in truth is my power position!

Owning this perfection, at each point in my journey, allows me to be of service to others. When I know who I am, I can nurture & guide those around me to tap into their inner strength.

Each of us are exactly where we are meant to be on this journey. I am always guided by a higher source. My only duty is to surrender & trust the universe & BE the love & light that I am.

Today, for the first time I can look into the mirror, into my eyes & affirm out loud that I am beautiful inside & out. Really owning it. Embracing my sensuality.

How can I expect anyone else to treat me well & honour me, when I am not doing it for myself. It is my duty to love & honour me!

Cheers to loving me & embracing my soft, yet powerful feminine energy!  I encourage you all to pay compliments to others & be open to receiving them yourself. It is a form of giving & receiving love…..a beautiful small act that we can model to the generations after us.

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